1) Leave Home Without It

Unless you visit like-minded people, leave your private cause at home. Cover the tattoo, remove the nose ring, take out the tongue stud. Similarly, avoid editorials, lectures, and sermons. Remember: it’s a holiday party. No one comes to be offended.

2) Make Them Special

Let others talk. Be impressed (or at least interested) with what they say. Ask questions to encourage telling more. Find something to praise. Give your complete attention while listening. Appreciation is a gift that lasts a lifetime.

3) Detach

Let others be themselves. Accept what people say, regardless how outrageous. Avoid correcting, criticizing, or complaining. Ignore bait that lures you into arguments. Avoid taking things personally. Just say, “Ah, how interesting,” and move on.

4) Talk Friendly

Offer compliments. Be positive. Be gracious. Be mature. Find diplomatic ways to express your ideas. Avoid negative words, especially “not,” because negative ideas trigger a defensive response. Be a source of solutions instead of complications.

5) Behave

Avoid trick questions (“What kind of idiot would do this?”). Avoid punitive stories that contain hidden insults. Avoid baiting people into arguments. Spend time with people who enjoy your ideas. Realize it is always a bad idea to start an argument.